Exodus to Italia

So…in order to save you precious moments of your life…and me the extra 5 euros in internet time it would take to retell this story in its entirety, I am obliged to abbreviate.

Besides all that, I think it adds mystery.

Enter here: 8:30 a.m. Thursday, September 13

-Meet Michelle upstairs in Paris apartment. Michelle is our host. An artist. Spiky hair. Very short. Very nice. Awkward greetings, how was your stay, blah, blah, blah.
- 8:45 a.m. leave apartment and head for patisserie.
- Can’t find one (I mean, the “right” one) close to the Metro. Move on.
- 8:52 a.m. head down into Guy Moquet Metro station.
*Insert profanities here!*
- RUSH HOUR ON THE METRO.
- Sardines. The Metro is very literally the physical interpretation of a human sardine can.
- People and their briefcases are smashing themselves into the cars. The doors force just a little more room to be made. No appendages left behind. Thank gawd!
- No chance of two adults, one small child, three very large backpacks, one adidas box (oh, yes, this. Back up to 8:47. Looking for a post to send box of stuff we don’t need back home. Post not open. Box has to come with us. CRAP!) and a stroller. NO CHANCE!
- We wait.
- 8:59 we wait. 9:06 we wait. 9: 11 we wait.
- 9: 17 Voila. We’re in.
- First Metro transfer. Easy. Kind of.
- Second Metro transfer. What the bleep?!@*!!
- Into the bowels of hell we go. (Two adults, one small child, 3 HUGE backpacks, one adidas box and one stroller)
- 9:35 a.m. we sit and rest. And wait.
- Enter angry Frenchman
- Us = sitting peacefully catching our breath.
- Him = yelling in French. Getting VERY, VERY close to Carlos’s face.
- Carlos = what?
- Him = ANGRY…at what?
- He walks away.
- Us = ????
- Oh my gawd, he comes back!
- He gets closer to Carlos
- Me = Hey buddy!
- Him = Still angry, but finally walks away!
- Us = Are we there yet? Scary.
- On to the Metro…to the end of the line.
- Bus to Orly – Sud airport.
- Late. Very late.
- We miss our flight to Milan, Linate.
- CRAP!
- easyjet counter lady = Go to the other airport and try to get onto the next flight to a different airport in Milan.
- Charlie is very cranky. Screaming cranky.
- One hour on Air France bus only to be dropped off in the wrong terminal.
- At the right terminal. 104 euros later. 1:45 flight to Milan.
- Milan at last!
- One hour on a very crowded bus to Staczione Centrale
- A light snack, a small wait.
- Two hours on a train to Venice.
- WE’RE HERE! Umm, nope. Wrong stop.
- CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!
- It’s okay.
- It’s okay.
- Back on the train to the OTHER Venezia stop…duh.
- Is that water? We must be there.
- Yes!
- On to the boat. Vallasarro.
- 25 minutes later we land 100m from our doorstep.
- 10: 10 p.m.

Exit here.